TW: Today’s blog post talks about restriction and gives examples of this that may be triggering to some readers. Please take care of yourself today and catch the next one if this sounds too upsetting to read. 

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Restriction is a big part of eating disorders and disordered eating. When I talk about food restriction in sessions with clients, most tend to think of it as a reduction in the total amount of food they eat. And while that’s one way restriction shows up, there are a lot of other, sometimes sneaky, ways it can rear its head. This is not an exhaustive list but here are some other ways restriction can show up:

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• Putting limits on certain types of foods (ex: only eating x amount of carbs) 

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• Having certain hours where it’s “ok” to eat or a cut off point in the day where it’s no longer “ok” to eat (ex: no eating after 8pm or intermittent fasting)

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• Intentionally packing less food in your lunch than you normally would or packing an amount you hope will satisfy you even if part of you is sure it won’t

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• Saying no to any foods you did not “plan” for (ex: someone brought in donuts to work, your partner wants to go out to eat vs what was planned for the week)

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• Mentally limiting yourself to X amounts of food (ex: I will only have one cookie at the party, or I can only eat this one granola bar)

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The last one is especially sneaky. This falls into a category called mental restriction.  Mental restriction can look like saying to yourself “I will eat what whatever I want at the party BUT, I will only have one cookie no matter what.” Or it could look like telling yourself you can order whatever you want on the menu, but you can’t eat all of it regardless of how it tastes or what your hunger cues are telling you.

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On the surface these can look like “normal” (normal is in quotes, because what even IS normal?) eating. Afterall, you are having a cookie or going out to eat! In reality though, you’ve placed rules or mental barriers on what and how much you are eating. You’re giving yourself limited permission to eat. Now, don’t get me wrong; some of us work for years to get to a point where the only restricting we are doing is mental. However, mental restriction still impacts our relationship with food. 

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If I bake a batch of cookies but tell myself I can only have 2 a day, I’m putting restrictions on how I’m “allowed” to eat. I’m subtly (or maybe not so subtly, depending on how you talk to yourself) telling myself that I am not to be trusted around this food. That this food is so “dangerous”, and that I have to put limits on it or who knows what will happen? And it’s not only that: think about how much more appealing or powerful a thing feels when there are restrictions on it. When there are external rules placed on what or how much we eat, these foods naturally become more alluring and almost seductive. I may become so afraid of my inability to keep to my limit of 2 cookies a day that I don’t make them anymore. This phenomenon happens when we restrict any food even for a short time. You can read more about this here but Content warning: calorie counts and discussion of weight loss.

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This is often a way that food noise can sneak its way into your life as well. I may write more about food noise soon as I hear it mentioned frequently in the media and by clients. (For a perspective on this, Kate Mann wrote an opinion piece on this for the NY Times found here. It’s behind a paywall so if you know someone that subscribes or have your own creative ways of getting access, it’s a good read.)

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Maybe this has resonated with you; maybe you didn’t realize that you were eating in this way, or that this was actually a type of restriction until now.   Can you ask yourself from a place of kindness and curiosity if you have put rules or parameters around some food in an attempt to help yourself feel safer around it? What could it feel like to feel safe around that food? To treat it like any other food you come across daily? It may sound impossible right now, but I promise you this is a real possibility for you (yes YOU). You CAN trust yourself around food. There is nothing wrong with your desire for food. The irony is letting go of the control around it is what helps you feel more empowered to decide if you want it or not. Mindblowing right? And if you’ve had a therapist, dietitian or other healthcare professional encourage this type of restriction-I’m sorry you went through that. They were operating with bad information that was steeped in diet culture.  

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This is where the support of a good anti-diet therapist and/or dietitian can help. You don’t have to do this alone. If you are looking for a group option to help build your community of people also working on letting go of rules around food, check out my Anti-Diet Support Group. 

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Photo Attribution: Nick Youngson CC BY-SA 3.0 Pix4free

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