Photo credit: Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

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"If the minimum wasn’t acceptable it wouldn’t be called the minimum." Rod Kackley

Perfectionism. Oh what a complicated relationship most of us have with this word. It’s got deep roots in our culture in diet culture, and white supremacy. We receive the message all the time of how to eat “right”, exercise to “maximize calorie burning”, be blemish free, be the “right” size, minimize the  “bad” foods we eat. etc. etc. etc. There is an underlying belief in our culture that if you do everything “right” your body, and your health will be perfect. If you are reading this post on my website, I don’t need to tell you what a hot pile of garbage all of that is. 

Diet culture forces us to think of things in black or white terms. Something is good or bad, right or wrong. In some ways, it can make life feel easy. You know for sure if you are “on track” because the parameters of good and bad are so clearly defined. But what happens when life, inevitably happens. When we don’t stick to a diet or a workout schedule? What happens when our bodies change (because that’s what they do)? We end up feeling like we failed. We often end up blaming ourselves for our lack of discipline or willpower. We feel that we just need to redouble our efforts, go extra hard tomorrow, or give up other things that bring us joy. It’s rigid. Harsh. I don’t know about you but I have never been happy when my life was rigid and harsh.

Letting go of diet culture means also letting go of the perfectionism that is so deeply tied to it. In their book “Reclaiming Body Trust” Hilary Kinavey and Dana Sturtevant share  that one of the foundations of their work is “C -  work” (as opposed to an A). My fellow recovering perfectionists may be starting to sweat right about now but hang in there. Letting go of diet culture and learning to trust your body is a messy, imperfect process. Giving yourself room to stumble, get back up, and try again is the kindest thing you can do for yourself as you embark on this journey. When we aren’t worried about perfection, we become more willing to take risks and curiosity. 

What’s your relationship with perfectionism? How does that show up in your relationship with your body? What would you try if perfectionism wasn’t in your way?

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